Photo: Atomic Archive
|Year||Fear||What we were told could happen|
|1999||Y2K||All computer technology will stop working when the calendar moves from 1999 to 2000; nuclear plants will explode and planes will fall out of the sky.|
|2000||E-Coli in the water supply||It happened in Walkerton, Ontario. It could happen here.|
|2001||September 11||Terrorists flew a plane into the twin towers in New York; this could happen in your town. This could happen anywhere. Any flight you take, on any day, could be hijacked and flown into a plane.|
|2002||Anthrax||Terrorists will send white powder in the mail and when you open the envelope, it will go POUFF in the air and kill you.|
|2002||West Nile Virus||You will get bit by a mosquito, and die.|
|2003||SARS||The only thing worse than contracting Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, would be visiting a hospital where all the nurses carry it. Don’t go to Scarborough. On the bright side, the Rolling Stones might visit your city to cheer you up.|
|2005||Avian Flu||Birds will fall out of the sky, and kill you!|
|2006||E-Coli in the food supply||Romaine lettuce and carrot juice might kill you….better to stick to Doritos and beer.|
|2008||Financial collapse||Everyone’s home will be foreclosed upon.|
|2009||Swine Flu is going to kill us.||Flying pigs will fall from the sky, and kill you.|
|2012||Mayan Calendar||The Mayan Calendar predicts the world will end; and although we have never trusted or cared about anything the Mayans had to say before, we are pretty sure this is the one thing they were right about.|
|2013||North Korea is going to start WW3 by dropping a nuclear bomb on California.||Either WW3 will start, which would be bad, or Dennis Rodman would appoint himself America’s North Korean ambassador, go to North Korea, and persuade them to stop their nuclear program. Much to the chagrin of professional diplomats around the globe, Rodman went to Korea and convinced them to stop. Later, he endorsed Donald Trump for President. |
This WAS the end of the world, for many people.
|2014||Ebola Virus||You will bleed through your eyeballs, your nose and every other opening in your body. This will happen in a public place, and kill everyone around you as you “crash and bleed out.”|
|2015||ISIS||Terrorists so organized they have medical insurance and vacation pay not only want to blow up our cities, but also recruit our daughters as soldiers’ wives.|
|2016||Zika Virus||Babies will be born with very small heads.|
|2017||Donald Trump||The Russians will invade Alaska and take over Facebook. Madonna will blow up the White House.|
|2018||Donald Trump||Trump might do a half decent job and earn re-election.|
|2019||Donald Trump||Trump might continue to do a half decent job an earn re-election.|
|2020||Corona Virus||THANK GOD we have something to blame on Donald Trump, just in time to ensure he does not get re-elected. Whew! THAT was lucky. If Corona Virus doesn’t kill you, the ventilator or the vaccine will, so you are just doomed no matter what, but at least Trump is not president.|
|2021||Fascism||The urgent need to control Corona Virus means you will be forced to have untested substances injected into your body. |
You will have to show proof of your injection status to your employer, the police, the US border guards, the hostess at Swiss Chalet, or anyone else who asks.
Your kids will miss months of school, organized sports, friends, family, holidays and special events.
Your small business will need to be closed and/or bankrupted.
You will be forced to listen to Justin Trudeau call you a selfish, racist, misogynistic gramma killer….and believe that he actually won re-election.
You will need to accept that fact that anything you do to protest might land you in a quarantine camp.
|2022||People start using common sense and thinking for themselves.||Actually, this only scares politicians and members of the media. |
It definitely terrifies them, though.
Happy New Year!