One alarmed Taxi Driver…
My husband and I were dressed, ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and the theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and the TV on, then put the cat in the backyard.
Our taxi arrived, and as we walked out the front door, our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs back inside, then ran up the stairs. As she likes to chase the budgie, and we really didn’t want to leave them unchaperoned, my hubby ran back inside to retrieve her and put her out in the back yard again. I didn’t want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, so I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily, as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother.
A few minutes later, hubby jumps into the taxi all hot and bothered, and proceeds to say, much to my growing horror and amusement as we pulled away….. “Sorry it took so long buddy, but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed … I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then she tried to take off on me, so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn’t scratch me like she did last time … but it worked, I hauled her fat arse down the stairs, and I threw her into the backyard! She’d better not shit in the veggie garden again.”
The silence in the taxi was deafening.
–contributed by Shelley Walker
