When the night gets loud: finding peace in quiet moments

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so

From two to three in the morning is a long, quiet time. You really get to hear the creaks, cracks, and noises that the house makes—not to mention the sounds in your own mind. Funny thing about that time of night: if there’s anything bothering you as you lay there trying to sleep, the quiet of the night seems to amplify the stresses and anxieties you may be feeling. How do I know? I know from experience.

A few nights ago, there I was. I don’t know what woke me; I was just lying there with my eyes and mind wide open, thinking about everything going on in my life and wondering what to do in many situations. My oldest daughter is an emergency room nurse and is dealing with a lot, my son’s work takes him all over the continent and is a very high pressure job, and my youngest daughter is a police officer in one of the largest cities in Canada. My business is growing, my house will soon need some repairs, then there’s health challenges and so on and so on. So, there I was, wondering and worrying about everything, and not really getting anywhere with it. I really got myself into quite a steam, worrying about the “what ifs” and at 3 a.m. I was all charged up and going nowhere.

Finally, after looking at everything that could possibly go wrong from every conceivable angle—and after watching the clock change for an hour—out of desperation, my logical side took over from my emotional side. Basically, it said:

“Okay Paul, you know you don’t have complete control over everything going on in your life right now. All you can do is your best. Trust in your experience and trust in the strengths of your family, and things will eventually work out. You’ve raised your children the best way you know how, and they are terrific. As a matter of fact, they’re probably sound asleep right now without any worry at all—so why are you worrying? You have enough business experience to know that you can handle whatever may come along. And if you don’t, there are enough people in your organization that you can go to for help, who would be more than willing to assist you. All you need to do is stop worrying and start planning. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, just make an action plan to take care of things—even before anything happens.”

The next five minutes were spent taking each and every situation, one at a time, and deciding: a) Can I really do anything about this right now? b) If I can affect the outcome, what can I do right now, tomorrow, or this week to move closer to a solution?

After going through this process, I don’t even remember falling asleep—but the next thing I knew, it was 7:30 a.m., and I was waking up refreshed and ready for the day.

What are the stresses or challenges that sometimes keep you awake at night? Do you have concerns over family or friends? What about finances or job pressures? Do you labor over deadlines or decisions? If so, does it control you—or do you control it?

Stress is only a condition that exists only in our minds, where we imagine the worst thing that can happen and live it out mentally without ever experiencing it in reality. It’s like we are preparing ourselves for the worst, instead of finding a way to beat it. Stress is giving up and giving in to what could possibly happen before we even get a chance to look for a solution.

Why does everything always have to turn out perfectly anyway? If we have properly conditioned ourselves throughout our lives, we have learned that “we win some, and we lose some.” If we only win all the time, losing becomes much harder to swallow.

And it is in losing the odd battle that we build strength, resilience, and the courage to try harder. Success is a poor teacher!

This week, as you are confronted with all the situations of your life—whether stressful or not—look at them as opportunities to build new strengths within yourself that could help you weather the storms you are facing. Make a plan to attack them head-on. Take control rather than be controlled by them. And when you do, you will live a life of balance, peace of mind, and personal strength.

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Paul Kearley is a professional leadership, communications and sales coach for businesspeople who are taking command of their career and making an impact. He has worked as a business coach and trainer, Virtual Trainer, and speaker since 1985.

To see eBooks Paul has written, go here: https://payhip.com/PKWalktheTalk