Under new management: a lesson in personal change

Have you ever been so put off by bad service that not only did you vow never to return, but you also felt compelled to share your dreadful experience with everyone you knew? That’s exactly what happened to me at a restaurant a few months ago.

In a nutshell, here’s what transpired:

“Yes, I’d like your special, please,” I requested.

“None left,” came the blunt reply.

“But it’s only 12:30,” I protested.

“Doesn’t matter, none left,” she repeated.

“Can I substitute something else?” I inquired.

“The cook won’t allow substitutions,” was the curt response.

“Not even just half an hour past noon with nothing left?” I persisted.

“Nope. Are you ordering something else or what?” she snapped.

“Well, I’d like to. What would you suggest?” I asked.

“I don’t care. Whatever you want,” she snapped again.

“I need some time to decide,” I said.

“Well, hurry up! There are others waiting, and I go on break in 10 minutes,” she retorted.

“Thanks anyway, I’ll get lunch somewhere else,” I decided.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” she replied. “I just work here. If you’re looking to blame someone, blame management.”

I left, quietly vowing never to darken their door again.

Yes, as unbelievable as it sounds, that really happened. Looking back, it seems like something out of a Seinfeld episode—a scenario ripe for comedic exaggeration.

Recently, I found myself in that part of town again. As I drove past the restaurant, I noticed a sign in the window: “Under New Management.” Hungry and nearing 1 o’clock, I hadn’t eaten yet that day, so I decided to give the place another chance. I’m so glad I did! What a difference new management with a new attitude makes!

Walking in, the physical appearance of the place was unchanged, but the staff’s demeanor was entirely different. I was warmly greeted with a smile, a friendly hello, and genuine interest from the server. She asked about my day, what brought me there, and even my name, which she used throughout my visit. When I left after paying my bill, she said, “Thank you for dining with us, Paul. I hope to see you again soon.”

I love the metaphor this example represents. Sometimes, for things to improve, we need to adopt a new style of personal management. By personal management, I mean how we conduct ourselves in our interactions and responsibilities.

To develop a new personal management philosophy that strengthens relationships, we must take a couple of key actions. First, we need to examine our habits and beliefs toward ourselves and others and be open to change where necessary. Are we in the habit of criticizing, condemning, or complaining, or do we seek opportunities to exceed expectations? Are we genuinely interested in others and encouraging them to speak, or do we dominate conversations with our own achievements?

Second, we must observe what works and what doesn’t and stop the ineffective behaviors. Instead of blaming others, we should focus on improving our own actions and relationships.

A common mistake people make is expecting others to change just because they have changed. That’s simply unrealistic. Remember, for things to change, we must change. The only aspect of life we can truly control is our own attitudes and beliefs. While we can influence others, true change must come from within them. As Zig Ziglar, a renowned personal management trainer, famously said, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

This week, as you chart a new course in your life, consider refining your personal management philosophy toward how you interact and communicate with others. You’ll find that positive outcomes and stronger relationships become more frequent than you might have imagined.

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Paul Kearley is a professional leadership, communications and sales coach for businesspeople who are taking command of their career and making an impact. He has worked as a business coach and trainer, Virtual Trainer, and speaker since 1985.

To see eBooks Paul has written, go here: https://payhip.com/PKWalktheTalk