Wednesday, May 14, 2025
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Guest ContributionsLaugh a Little

Frank Feldman: what a guy!

Brian Horne

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabby says, โ€œWow, perfect timing. Youโ€™re just like Frank.โ€

The passenger asks, โ€œWho?โ€

The cabby explains, โ€œFrank Feldman. Heโ€™s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like when I came along just when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.โ€

The passenger remarked, โ€œThere are always a few clouds over everybody.โ€

โ€œNot Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.

“He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.โ€

The passenger said, โ€œSounds like he was really something special.โ€

The cabby replied, โ€œThereโ€™s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybodyโ€™s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.โ€

The passenger was amazed, โ€œWow, what a guy!โ€ The cabby continued, โ€œHe always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.โ€

Passenger: โ€œHow did you meet him?โ€

Cabby: โ€œI never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”