Gridlock and grace
Finding kindness in a storm
Rain, intense torrential rain. I was in Halifax, sitting in wall-to-wall traffic, my car buffeted by high-velocity winds and pelted by the steady pounding of the relentless rain.
I had just come from a meeting with a client and replayed the whole scenario in my head as I was swept along by the surge of both traffic and nature. Not really focusing on where I was going, I innocently took a right turn onto one of the busiest intersections in Halifax during rush hour.
So, I sat there waiting to merge into traffic. I knew I’d either get a break or have to make one myself. Behind a small gold-colored car with its left turn signal flashing, I waited for my chance. To worsen matters, there was no flashing light for us left turners, so we had to take our chances with oncoming traffic. I waited through one cycle of lights, then another, and still the car in front didn’t move an inch. Feeling frustrated, I gave a double toot on my horn and waited through the next cycle, with no movement once again. Impatience getting the better of me, I looked for a way around the car to reach my next appointment.
I saw the shadow advancing in my side-view mirror before realizing what was happening. A young man in a business suit, wearing a Tilley hat, had exited his car behind me and was braving the storm, approaching the car in front of me. “This should be interesting,” I thought, lowering my window just enough to hear the conversation, but not enough to be drowned by the rain. Expecting a 5 o’clock road rage confrontation, I was shocked and deeply impressed by what actually transpired.
“Excuse me, ma’am, are you having car troubles?” he calmly asked, gripping his hat against the rain.
“No, I’m afraid to enter that line of traffic,” I heard the driver respond.
“Yes, it can be tricky. Have you done this before?” he inquired.
“Yes, a little, but it scares me,” she admitted.
“I’m sorry. This traffic can be intimidating when no one gives you a break. You’ll have to try, though, because there’s a long line behind you getting impatient, and I’m afraid someone might do something reckless,” he explained.
“Yes, I hear them honking, but I just can’t move out into this traffic,” she replied.
“May I offer a suggestion?” he asked politely.
“Yes, please,” she said.
“As soon as the light turns green, move your car into the intersection. Don’t attempt the turn, just wait there, and someone will give you a break. It works; I’ve done it countless times, and you can too. Will you try?” he gently coaxed.
“Okay, I’ll try it,” she agreed.
“Great. If you need help, let me know. I’m just a couple of cars behind you,” he reassured her, then returned to his car.
Watching him lean into the wind and rain as he walked back, there was no malice, rage, or frustration on his face—just peace and confidence. He knew the woman would be okay, and his confidence gave the rest of us, comfortably dry in our cars, assurance that we’d soon be on our way.
The light turned green, the car edged into the intersection, and the first oncoming car stopped to give her a break. Off she went. Meanwhile, I sat there, embarrassed by my impatience and in awe of this unknown man, waiting for my chance to merge into traffic, no longer in as much of a hurry as just a few minutes before.
Many of us have weathered “storms” in our lives where uncertainty clouded our actions. Many of us would have appreciated someone assuring us that everything would be okay. What have you done this week to help someone who was afraid, confused, or just in need of a kind word? Did you, like me, complain and whine about inconvenience, or did you offer help? We may never meet this man, but we can follow his example. He expected nothing in return; he simply recognized someone in need of kindness and support amidst a storm. It wasn’t about him; it was about helping someone afraid.
Make this your best week ever!
Make an Impact.
- Practice Patience and Understanding: Next time you encounter someone in a frustrating situation, pause and offer assistance or empathy instead of frustration or impatience.
- Extend a Helping Hand: Look for opportunities to help others, whether it’s in traffic, at work, or in your community. Small acts of kindness can have a significant impact.
- Lead by Example: Be the person who sets a positive tone in challenging situations. Show others the power of kindness and patience through your actions.
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