From words to action: how self-talk shapes your success

The only way for things to change was for me to change

It was a day I’ll never forget. It began with a conversation with my business coach that left me both shaken and energized.

He pointed out something that hit me hard: “You say one thing but do another. You use non-committal language to describe your actions,” he said. “Words like ‘that’s interesting’ or ‘I hope to’ show that you’re aware but not committed. When you start using words like ‘I promise’ or ‘I’m committed,’ it creates a whole new sense of action within you. By using words of positive commitment, you remove the escape route—there’s no out if you fail. You’re locking yourself into taking positive action right now.”

I sat there, stunned. I had no idea I was doing that. But faced with the undeniable truth, I had to admit it. Thinking you can do something is one thing; using firm, committed language out loud to yourself and others transforms intention into action. The words and thoughts we use daily shape our direction and outcomes.

So where do these thoughts originate? Why are some people relentlessly positive in the face of challenges, while others only see obstacles?

The thoughts we carry weren’t placed there by accident. They developed over a lifetime of experiences and from what we’ve heard or observed from others. In her article New Listening: Key to Organizational Transformation, Barbara J. Fittipaldi highlights this truth: “The more I work in the area of organizational transformation, the more convinced I am that what is already ‘heard’ or known, before anyone speaks or acts – what we’ve already listened to – will shape and determine the future more powerfully than any action taken.”

She goes on to say that what we listen to determines what we say, and what we say determines our actions, which ultimately define our results and future.

I recently spoke with a young woman about her future plans. She had great ideas and ambitions, but one thing was missing—the will to make it happen. I’ve seen her grow tremendously over the years, but she seems to hit a ceiling, sabotaging her progress. This happens because, at some point in her life, someone told her—through words or actions—that she wasn’t enough. And she believed it. She internalized it, and it became part of her identity. Yet, I know she has the talent, drive, and enthusiasm to achieve anything. But until she recognizes it in herself, she’ll remain stuck.

So what am I saying? Simply this: The conversations we have with ourselves determine the direction and distance we will go.

This week, pay close attention to your inner dialogue. Don’t make the mistake I did by offering yourself non-committal promises. Take a stand! Commit to yourself! Become the person you aspire to be, and you will become the new version of yourself that you’ve always envisioned. Let the ideas and opinions of others inform and educate you, but ensure that your actions are driven by your own conclusions.

Have your best week ever.

Action Points:

1. Change your language to change your mindset: Replace non-committal words like “I hope” with assertive phrases like “I will” to reinforce your determination.
2. Be mindful of your inner dialogue: Regularly check in with yourself—what are you saying to yourself? Is it empowering or limiting?
3. Act on your commitment: Don’t just speak positive words; back them up with consistent action. Your words shape your thoughts, and your thoughts shape your reality.

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Paul Kearley is a professional leadership, communications and sales coach for businesspeople who are taking command of their career and making an impact. He has worked as a business coach and trainer, Virtual Trainer, and speaker since 1985.

To see eBooks Paul has written, go here: https://payhip.com/PKWalktheTalk